Countdown with Keith Olbermann

SEASON 4 EPISODE 74: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: The buffoon who is, for better or worse, the actual president of this country has called the United States of America STUPID. No – seriously: “We are the only country in the world stupid enough to allow birthright citizenship” He didn’t call the Constitution stupid. He didn’t call the Supreme Court stupid. He didn't call the immigrants stupid. He didn't call the Democrats stupid. He called the ENTIRE COUNTRY stupid. You. And me. And his own supporters. Why again do we continue to permit this disloyal, deranged moron to remain president? Oh by the way that was him - even before his pathetic speech on Iran last night - signaling he will LOSE, that he is getting CREAMED, after the oral arguments OVER birthright citizenship at the Supreme Court, summarized by his lawyer saying “it’s a new world” and the Chief Justice replying but “it’s the same constitution.” When the Justices rule in June it could be 9-0, though 7-2 would be likelier. THE BESTEST WAR EVER: Near as I can tell, the essence of Trump's argument in his Iran speech last night was: It's going perfectly because it hasn't taken nearly as long as World War I or Vietnam. He didn't address NATO, he only tweaked the allies who have refused to jump overboard with him, and he only once gave any hint about what's next (Iran has "two or three weeks" to make a deal even though everybody in Iran is dead). The overriding theme of the speech was the tantalizing prospect that he might fall asleep at the podium while he was talking. TRUMP'S PERVERTS: The latest on Kristi Noem and whether she got a group discount on plastic surgery, the servitude of Lindsey Graham and Marco Rubio and RFK Jr and Jeff Bezos, and the weird psychology behind why his former critics enslave themselves to Trump. A professional in the field says it's not masochism, and while it may be blackmail, it's more about Trump providing them with a way for them to lie to themselves and say they aren't deviants or hypocrites, that he will back up their delusions - provided they do exactly what he tells them to. B-Block ( ) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Oh, look, I'm dragging Katy Tur and Tony Dokoupil again. Tur and I used to talk about Trump's lack of acuity in 2015. She just did a tv segment on it this week and it was as if she discovered it. And a profile of Dokoupil by Columbia Journalism Review has revealed he was once a hair model. What do you mean "once?" Also on here, Navy Commander Tim Parlatore ragging on behalf of Gamblin' Pete Hegseth. Last time we saw him he was civilian Trump attorney Tim Parlatore. I'm waiting for Cardinal Parlatore. And if Cory Booker is paying for the astroturfed online support, he deserves a refund. C-Block ( ) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: If I'm dragging Tur, it's only fair I tell the story of when she went above-and-beyond even live-in girlfriend duties: the saga of the day my appendix exploded and it took me 48 hours to figure out it wasn't just an upset stomach. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 73: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: I have figured out what might be the weirdest most pointless delusion of Trump's second term: his claim "Vince Lombardi - I knew him." Trump was just 21, in college, and living with his parents in Queens the day the most legendary figure in football in the '60s retired as coach of The Green Bay Packers. More over, the first time he claimed he knew him was a decade ago, filled with details of witnessing Lombardi grab players by the shirt and not getting beat up because he was a winner. Where? How? He never explained. Of course he didn't. He probably saw it on television. So why does he believe he met Vince Lombardi? Because he DID meet Vince Lombardi. Only - not THAT Vince Lombardi. He met Vince Lombardi, JUNIOR, son of the legendary coach. Vince Lombardi Jr. was an executive in the United States Football League while Trump owned the New Jersey Generals of that league. Lombardi Jr. recounts meeting Trump (Trump was a jerk) in Jeff Pearlman's perfect book "Football For A Buck." By this standard, I ALSO KNEW VINCE LOMBARDI. The younger was a negotiator for the owners during the NFL Strike of 1982 that I covered for CNN. But in the 44 years since I met him I never conflated him with his father. THIS IS NOT THE LEAD STORY, it's just maddening. The lead? Trump and Hegseth and Rubio may be sending thousands of American troops into an ambush in Iran. Not that they care. The conservative publication “The Washington Post” reports Pentagon plans for thousands of Marines and other personnel conducting weeks of raids while Rubio insists it’s going so well, we’ll never need boots on the ground. But Trump and Hegseth and Rubio may be wildly exaggerating how EFFECTIVELY America has degraded Iran’s military capacities AND wildly underrating how effective Iran has been destroying American equipment – especially aircraft. The Pentagon said an AWACS – the giant command and control plane – was “damaged” while parked on an airfield in Saudi Arabia. Photos have leaked. The back half of the AWACs was blown off. Iran is successfully conducting a war designed to destroy our PLANES on the ground, and control or neutralize wherever American troops intend to land or be based. AND THE DEPUTY ATTORNEY GENERAL doesn't know it is against federal law to send troops (or other "armed men") to a polling station during an election. Five years in jail for sending them, Todd Blanche. Losing eligibility for all offices or honors, Donald Trump. B-Block (36:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Bill Maher wins The Shania Twain Prize For Humor. I think I have that right. Laura Loomer takes a terrible risk invoking the term "a slap in the face" given what she's done to her own face. And who's worse? Scott Jennings (now accused by three fellow guests of faking his anti-Trump hysteria) or Abby Phillip (who lets her name be used on the grotesque CNN show where Jennings allegedly lies)? C-Block (50:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I mean this question literally: Whatever happened to Rudy Giuliani? Not that I miss him, not that I'm worried. It's just - he's vanished, hasn't he? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 72: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump has started World War 3 and has no idea how to stop it - and he doesn't know he's LOSING World War 3. How could he NOT know this? Because reportedly every morning they show him two minutes of highlights of "stuff blowing up" in Iran. His own personal SportsCenter Conflagration in the Middle East. Trump insisting Iran is dead. And yet Iran has struck Tel Aviv. Putin has sent a Russian oil tanker to Cuba just to remind us he can. Trump has now handed Iran de facto control of the worldwide price of a barrel of oil. Iran now controls 30 percent of worldwide fertilizer distribution. Because of Trump’s World War 3, the Philippines declares an energy emergency and Slovenia institutes energy rationing and United Airlines raised airfares twenty percent. Trump insists peace could be imminent and sends thousands more troops there. He mumbles about a peace proposal. It may be LAST year’s peace proposal and he's confused. Ukraine-Russia continues. Now the PAKISTANIS think they are mediators about Trump’s World War 3. Trump's World War 3, which is apparently being conducted, so crooks can make billion dollar bets on oil futures. And in the ultimate insanity: the military POINT of Trump’s World War 3 is to reopen the Strait of Hormuz after the Strait of Hormuz was closed by… Trump’s World War 3. All this while Rupert Murdoch insists if Trump DOESN’T put boots on the ground in Iran it will mean “American collapse.” World War 3 (TRUMP’S World War 3) in the new Thursday Countdown dropping at midnight. IT IS ALMOST SCAPEGOAT TIME: He's beginning to give Hegseth way too much of the credit he normally gives himself. That's what he's always done when he's about to fire somebody. He did it to Noem. Hegseth could be next. Or maybe MarkWayne Mullin, he's been on the job two days and already made an idiot out of himself (again). And talk about scapegoats: who's going to get it at CBS where the morning show's target audience is now 33% smaller than the target audience I had the last week I did Countdown on MSNBC. B-Block (26:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: When Patel's federally-funded girl friend Alexis Wilkins trashes Mike Flynn, Candace Owens, Tucker Carlson and Joe Kent - this must be some list: The Blaze, Glenn Beck, Scott Jennings, and Lauren Boebert, C-Block (40:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: A new baseball season is underway and this might be our last Opening Week until 2028 or later. My career began with covering the two most calamitous sports strikes in American history: MLB 1981 and NFL 1982. Of a drunken night with the football guys, and a broadcast in which a then-prominent sports columnist called them all communists (for the same kind of proposal OWNERS now offer TO players). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 71: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump is paying Iran to try to kill Americans. $14 billion, he’s giving them. Fourteen billion for oil Iran can now sell, per Trump. What’s that called again? If you’re ‘adhering to our enemies, giving them aid and comfort’? And that fop Scott Bessent defended it yesterday as "jujitsuing" Iran, using its money against it. In fact Trump is using Iran's money against American troops. Trump, who is garbage - who celebrated the death of Robert Mueller just as he celebrated the death of Rob Reiner - who Friday said the Strait of Hormuz would open itself and then Saturday said he would destroy Iran’s power grid unless Iran opened it - who then compared the majority political party of this nation TO Iran - who announced he is sending his ICE terrorists into the airports because ANYBODY can be a TSA agent and apparently he forgot about his mass deportation thing – and who has had some sort of hallucinatory dream in which he decided this was quote “the death of Iran” when Iran is not only winning but most Americans recognize that Iran is winning... Trump has freed up $14,000,000,000 of Iranian oil because that will lower the price of a barrel of oil by like a dollar for like a week. Oh and remember when he made that joke to the Prime Minister of Japan about Pearl Harbor? Turns out President S-Stain didn’t know what HAPPENED… AT… Pearl Harbor. BY THE WAY the Iranians say if Trump does attack their energy infrastructure, that'll black out much of the Gulf, and they'll hit Israel's energy infrastructure, and all the neighboring nations' desalination plants. Good plan, Grampa Garbage. B-Block (36:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Twitter-X user Chris950003 has invented a new "eggcorn." Is Peter Navarro sticking to his prediction that Trump's war would lower energy prices? And the sabotage of CBS is nearly complete: Bari Weiss and the Ellisons have not only destroyed the birthplace of American broadcast journalism (Edward R. Murrow's CBS Radio) but she actually wants to have Stephen A. Smith host the CBS morning show. C-Block (50:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I am an alum of CBS Radio - at KNX in Los Angeles and for the radio network as a sportscaster and reporter in the '80s - and I bleed for its murder. But my connection is even more personal. The head of its all-news operation in New York personally validated, personally made tangible, my career aspirations. With one note he turned my possibility into a reality. The story of the Lou Adler Letter. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 70: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: We are all looking at it backwards: That was Tulsi Gabbard’s passive-aggressive mini-coup against Trump - about Iran, and the elections. That's what she did in her Senate testimony – and what her deputy Joe Kent did when he resigned, a day earlier (and you think THAT was a coincidence of timing?) In a kind of bizarre code, through omission and not commission, they called Trump a liar about Iran and nukes. Not nobly or bravely. But they did it. They left no other conclusion that Trump was and is lying about Iran. Under oath. And THEN Gabbard passive-aggressively called Trump a LIAR AGAIN about the seized ballots in Georgia. Under oath. She testified that HE sent her. It might be a break in the damn; it might be trivial. It is NOT nothing. Because everybody has a moment in which they realize that they have to protect their own assets - and this might've been theirs. Lord knows all the allies have found theirs. Trump literally has no support from anyone, and the EU just started talking to Iran about a deal to get its ships through the Strait of Hormuz. Trump is neck high in quicksand that he ordered and installed - and he's run out of people to blame. Plus I'll explain what the hell Trump meant when he said “DIG WE MUST" instead of "drill baby drill." (It was his brain defaulting back to 1962 and it's a really bad sign). B-Block (26:00) SPORTSBALL TONIGHT: Are there ANY good feelings left from the US Olympics Men's Hockey Gold? Now the scorer of the winning goal, Jack Hughes, is demanding they give him the puck rather than enshrine it forever at the Hockey Hall of Fame, and an ESPN commentator is demanding we ignore "politics" and admit Russia to the next international tournament (while Russia is aiding Iran, who we are - like it or not - at war with). (34:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Newt Gingrich falls for an internet troll who wants to create an instant Trump Canal in the Middle East using nukes. Rachel Maddow becomes the umpteenth commentator to insist HER favorite Trump scandal should be getting more attention than the others. And not only did the Los Angeles Dodgers desecrate Dodger Stadium by slapping a sponsor name on it - but they then lied and said they HADN'T sold the naming rights. C-Block (56:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: My great grandfather not only turned down stock - circa 1907 - in the company that would become General Motors, but according to family lore he gave the owner the idea for the NAME "General Motors." We are not businessmen. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 69: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump is not qualified to continue as commander in chief. Not for another five minutes. He has to resign at least that role, immediately. Trump is personally LOSING THE WAR IN IRAN. Trump is personally TURNING IRAN into INSTANT PROCESSED VIETNAM. Never mind the politics, never mind his assault on democracy, never mind his instability, never mind his corruption, never mind the details: Just MILITARILY. Just MAKING DECISIONS THAT WILL KILL AMERICAN TROOPS - Trump is NOT qualified to continue as commander in chief and he needs to resign AT LEAST his command TODAY. A week ago Trump mocked England for trying to join the war after he 'won it.' Now Trump is BEGGING England and half a dozen other countries to send ships to save him from this disaster at the Strait of Hormuz. A week ago Trump insisted Iran would NEVER CLOSE the Strait of Hormuz. Now it turns out the Iranians directly WARNED HIM they would close the Strait of Hormuz - warned him in 2019. Because it’s not just a ten dollar gallon of gas that’s coming, it’s a ten dollar STRAWBERRY. Because a third of the world’s fertilizer goes through the Strait of Hormuz, where shipping is down ooh just 97-point-4 percent. Trump is the Commander-in-Creep. Trump is the Commander-in-Cheap. Trump is the Commander-A-Sleep. He needs to turn military command over to somebody else. Because Iran could never in a million years harm this country as much as Trump is harming it right now. THE GOOD NEWS: Dick Durbin has inadvertently produced the succinct message for all Democrats and everybody else opposing Trump and the Republicans' attempt to disembowel our elections, the bill they call with bitter irony 'The Save Act.' As he explains in less than a minute, it will disenfranchise roughly 10 percent of all American voters - and generally speaking the poorer ones. This is the line we must take, and sell. Just when you thought Democratic Senators weren't worth the proverbial price of the oil required to burn them in hell. Thank you, Senator Durbin. B-Block (30:00) SPORTSBALLCENTER: How could a team retire the uniform number of a former player they had to fire as manager because of his personal moral failings ON THE FIELD OF PLAY? And yet the New York Mets are doing exactly that. (35:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Cornelius Rudd warns you of the upcoming 'Raptor.' The CBS tire fire produces hilariously bad stories about David Ellison (and Epstein), Tony Dokoupil (and a new job somewhere else), Joe Rogan, and Jeff Shell (about to get fired from yet another network presidency). And then we have one of the greatest name mistakes of all time when Brian Kilmeade gets Markwayne Mullin's stupid first name completely wrong, Pilgrim. C-Block (46:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: I'm making a special request for your help finding a home for two bonded senior Malteses, apparent survivors of a puppy mill, named Mai Tai and Soraya. (49:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: And at the opposite end of the moral spectrum, there's the upcoming 25th anniversary of the day Rupert Murdoch fired me from Fox for following the exact instructions his office gave me. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 68: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump doesn’t REALIZE that he’s screwed in Iran. He can't decide if he's won and we should applaud now, or if he'll win later and we should applaud then - when the reality is, he's in a quagmire and about two weeks from handing the Democrats a majority that even White House strategists think might be enough to impeach AND remove him next year. Key Republicans and everybody behind the scenes in MAGA are looking for off-ramps. Does Trump know? Will he be temporarily not-a-moron and take one of them? Is Trump in a fugue state? Dissociative behavior? Temporary amnesia? No awareness that there are consequences? You know – his normal state – only WORSE. First about Iran he said “any time I want it to end, it will end." Now about Iran he says it will continue indefinitely until they quote “literally could never build that country back.” Is there a strategy? A plan? Anything? In the most important document of the war, Senator Chris Murphy told us what he could of a semi-confidential briefing about Iran by the administration. They seem to think all they have to do is destroy all of Iran's armaments and they'll never ever find a way to replace them. And while he’s demanding the world bend to his will, again he is helping the Russians help the Iranians try to kill our people and our allies. Monday I mentioned it was the Russians locating American Assets in the middle east for Iran's benefit. Now Trump is indirectly funding Russian advisors helping Iran with its drone strategy. Is Trump even aware he is awake? And what the hell is this with him trying to guess the shoe size of his cabinet members and buying them shoes that were already out of style in 1966? PLUS what is it with Pete PTSD Hegseth? He has now BANNED all outside photographers from Pentagon briefings because he thought the Associated Press images of him were unflattering. But ALL images of Pete Hegseth are unflattering. B-Block (32:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Poor Adnan Virk misses by an inch after trying to out-sing Michael Buble. Bill Maher gets run over at an NBA game. Alina Habba brings us her umpteenth malapropism; she can't tell her Cahoots from her Cajones; and the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee can't tell the difference between 1947 and 47 years. C-Block (45:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Hardly that. Things I found on an ancient cassette. A bunch of radio sportscasts I did in my first 90 days in this business - just the other day (in 1979). Enjoy, or skip them, I won't be offended either way. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 67: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump is in essence paying to provide Iran with the location of our forces in the Middle East. Our ships, jets, troops. Trump has just waived part of the embargo against Russian oil. So Iran’s ally Russia can sell MORE oil to India to get more money. Thus Russia can spend that money to gather more information on where American forces are IN the war. So Russia can give that information TO IRAN, and reportedly is, AND nobody in the Trump Rogue Government is denying it. Trump is in effect paying Russia, to help Iran attack Americans in this war. And in case you had doubts over Russia's loyalty, its minister to Britain just repeated on television there that it is not neutral in this war, that it is siding with Iran and will help it., So, what’s that called again? When you’re fighting a war, and people in your government help a country that’s helping the country you’re fighting the war AGAINST? What’s that called again? Tree Surgery? Trea-Ting? Trea... Never mind the other problems: we a) have no business being there; b) we are not winning; c) we are going to be there for years or d) Trump is going to have to cut and run or e) Trump's setting us up for an Iranian revenge terror attack here. And just to follow up on the End-Of-The-World Rapture religious crap motivating dozens of US military commanders, one Senator has actually joined the hallelujah chorus: Senator Cramer of North Dakota says we are there because of a BIBLICAL COMMITMENT to Israel. Iran: it is far worse than you think. B-Block (38:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: It's a full scale pie fight over in Fascist Media. Megyn Kelly, Bill Ackman, Nepobaby Tucker Carlson, Grand-Nepobaby Buckley Carlson, and others all attacking each other - it's delightful. Then there's US Weekly's disastrous post about the passing of a celebrity-adjacent figure. And if you haven't heard this you won't believe it. They've managed to position the "White House" sign perfectly behind Karoline Leavitt in just the perfect place so when she stands all the way to her left, it reads behind her... Well, no, I'm going to make you listen to find out. C-Block (49:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I told somebody this story the other day so now I'll tell you. If you can envision me, Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, Lester Holt, and Jesse Ventura inside an MSNBC men's room talking about inches - this story is for you. Happily it was about our new president and how he was the tallest man any of us had ever met who was clearly lying about his own height. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 66: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: It's literally a disaster of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS. Some of Trump’s Troops are being told that it isn't 'war with Iran' - it's a war to start a Biblical Armageddon: “Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to earth” says one whistle-blower NCO about his commanding officer. You heard it: a non-zero number of Trump Commanders aren't just fighting an illegal, ill-prepared, ill-fated war against an Iran that posed no realistic threat. To them it's a literal Holy War, start the apocalypse, end times, and then they all get raptured. More than 200 reports of such religious insanity, to a group called MRFF (Military Religious Freedom Foundation) and reported by one of my former MSNBC Coordinating Producers, Jonathan Larsen. MRRF is pushing back against us doing the whole Book of Revelations Crusades thing - and the newest development: the religious nuts in the military are holding emergency bible classes for those who may be deployed. Maybe not Apocalypse Now but Apocalypse SOON. The religious nut jobs are in charge, Hegseth may be in on the delusion, and so: no sign of bad luck in Rapture. B-Block (35:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The right wing allegation that MAGA Twitter twerp "Gunther Eagleman" only retweets if you pay him; Markwayne Mullin mistakes the smell of plumbing for the smell of war and keeps referring to "President Hegseth", and Weijia Jiang, CBS News reporter and president of the White House Correspondents Association. She and they not only actually insulted every journalist ever by inviting Trump to the Correspondents' Dinner - but he accepted and thinks he's getting an award. Trump is a man who has literally tried to get reporters killed for a decade, and they're going to sit in the same room with him. I guess because Goebbels is dead and is unavailable. I don't usually say 'I really went off on these idiots' but - I really went off on these WHCA idiots. C-Block (50:00) THURBER'S VERSION OF THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: His magazine-length version of his only non-fiction book, "The Years With Ross" about the founding of "The New Yorker" magazine (and its legendary, almost mythical founder, Harold Ross). It is as hysterical - and sometimes nearly as impossible to believe - as the best of his fiction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 65: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: We rejoin your regularly scheduled Trump-Epstein Cover-up Scandal Show, already in progress! Trump’s disastrous attack on Iran – approved by only 27% of America and barely HALF OF REPUBLICANS, so DIDN'T move the needle that Trumpstein has erupted anew in New Mexico: The former Attorney General essentially accuses the Trump Department of Justice of SABOTAGING his investigation of Epstein’s Zorro Sex Trafficking Ranch in 2019; of telling him ‘we’ll just take it from here’ and instead burying it. They took all the evidence and simply did nothing. When New Mexico went back a year later and said 'seize the ranch, preserve the evidence' they were again ignored. And after a New York Times deep dive on all the non-sex allegations and involvements, an entire new Epstein realm has opened up: what about the thousands of Epstein's non-sex crimes and co-conspirators? Why hasn't Trump prosecuted them? Plus, all the attack on Iran did was remind the world that if WE can try REGIME CHANGE in other countries, what’s to stop OTHER COUNTRIES from trying REGIME CHANGE? And I’ll say it again: They called it ‘Operation Epic Fury’ because ‘Operation Epstein Diversion’ didn’t sound War-fightery enough. And media fails us yet again: CNN will now go the same Bari Weiss Way of CBS. Then again it was three-quarters dead already, and the real crisis is MS-NOW's president thought the future of her network (basically unchanged since we spun off my guest hosts Maddow, O'Donnell and Hayes to give them new shows in 2010) was...Anderson Cooper LOL. B-Block (43:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Postscripts to the US Olympic Hockey disaster include cheap jokes about Auston Matthews' hairline. Trump flunky Alina Habba retweets a call for violence against a judge. And the Worst Persons GOAT Bill O'Reilly is back from purgatory to win for the first time in years! Right you are, Mr. Mehoffer! C-Block (58:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I told a friend the story of the day I met the incomparable actor and character Walter Matthau and how he used to do impressions of sportscasters - so I'll tell you. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

COUNTDOWN BULLETIN PODCAST FEB. 28 2026: WAR WITH IRAN (2:30) BULLETIN: While you were sleeping Trump illegally and unconstitutionally declared war on Iran, began to bomb its cities including Teheran and its parliament and its security council and its military targets and its schools and its ordinary people – and its militia allies in neighboring Iraq. Israel has joined in the assault. To quote Marty Sheen as the president in The Dead Zone: the missiles are flying, hallelujah hallelujah. To quote Trump to President Zelensky: you are playing with World War 3. Trump has called it a war, USED the term “war” repeatedly, and inanely told Iranians to stay in their homes, which this country is bombing. It is war, he is calling it war, and yet he has sought no congressional approval and Trump is thus acting as a dictator – a military dictator – at this moment. Israel has joined the military action, dubbed "Operation Epic Fury" - because "Operation Epstein Distraction" didn't sound poetic enough And apparently the FIFA Peace Prize just doesn’t mean anything any more. Novel thought: You know what would be right and just? We should have our new war in Iran fought by our new patriotic triumphant flag-waving unbeatable brave American heroes who so inspired us at the State of the Union: The Olympic winning U.S. Hockey Team! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 63: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENTS: Trump should be in prison JUST for his new role in the new covering-up of the part of the Epstein files that are about him. Trump. The accusations are against Trump. The memos are about Trump. The investigations are OF Trump. They are missing. There is a law saying Trump must produce them. He has not. That is, by definition, a cover-up. A conspiracy to BURY evidence. Even if somehow it CLEARED him. SPECIAL COMMENT No. 2: As the Kash Patel Olympic Scandal expands exponentially, we have buried the lede. Patel claims he was at the Olympics, working, running American security. Let's suspend our disbelief and say he's NOT lying. If he really was at the Olympics to run American security - WHY WAS HE DRINKING ON THE JOB? Why was he out-of-control drinking with the people he was there to protect? The experts like my old MSNBC pal Juliette Kayyem are stunned: Security is not allowed to DRINK, during an event, during an Olympics. Not until the entire Olympics were over. ESPECIALLY if you are IN CHARGE of security! If you are hired for security, they put "no drinking" in your contract. SPECIAL COMMENT No. 3: Why are the US Olympic men's hockey players not only still digging but digging new additional holes? Now it's not just drinking with Patel and laughing at terrible misogynistic jokes by Trump, but all but five of them were used as political props by Trump at the State of the Union, one (Tage Thompson) was photographed in a complete MAGA hat with the Press Secretary, the winning goal scorer is complaining everybody else made it political - and Auston Matthews (a Mexican-American who captains Canada's team and has thus had two of his three countries threatened by Trump) is standing there grinning behind Trump in the Oval Office, disgracing his team and its fans and his mother and his own relatives. B-Block (47:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Fox's Jesse Watters doesn't want a president who struggles to read (prefers one who can't read at all). The popular internet delusion that the president the last time the Americans won Olympic hockey gold was Reagan (it wasn't). And MAGA internet disease victim Senator Mike Lee says ICE dresses like Mexican Cartels. C-Block (58:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: As CBS continues to dissolve before our eyes, the sad truth that network news has been collapsing since at least the night in September 1997 when I was summoned by the president of NBC to have dinner with the chief of the MS part of MSNBC with instructions to humor and ignore him because all we wanted was his money. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 62: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: In case you somehow missed it, Kash Patel's enablers at the FBI (Fan Boys International) were busily denying he went to Italy for the Olympics just to see the hockey game and jock-sniff the victorious U.S. team when all sorts of video leaked out of the dressing room showing him doing exactly that - dancing, drinking, cringing. And then Patel himself couldn't resist Supposedly we sent 100 agents to help with security and he just had to be there. Guesstimated cost just for his latest stage of his perpetual vacation on our dime? $400,000. It would be bad - a future administration will probably address it as misappropriation of funds. But what makes it worse is there's a piece by Patel from 2022 complaining about previous FBI directors wasting money on vacation, and a clip about his FBI predecessor Christopher Wray's vacation travel. Simply impeaching him is insufficient. He needs to go to prison. NOT THAT TRUMP WOULD DO THAT; THIS IS THE BEHAVIOR TRUMP TEACHES: Trump is a thief and he owes you and me at least 293 billion dollars - and we want it back. The worst thief in American history - and 270 billion of that is in tariffs. Because on tariffs, the Supreme Court has given him his COMEUPPANCE. Well – it’s given him A comeuppance. Because his new argument for the new REPLACEMENT Monday tariffs was his old argument AGAINST overturning the old Friday tariffs. But the key thing the Court actually did was give his cult a mortal shock. It is the first official body to give the Trump-Town Guyana Death Cult the message: that he is making this crap up, as he goes ALONG. -- Plus: an actual good idea from Boris Johnson: to send peacekeepers to Ukraine – NOW. And I’M the guy who thinks the Hockey Gold Medal is a BAD THING. And no, the John Barron who called into C-SPAN wasn’t Trump – he was too coherent. B-Block (40:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Mark Zuckerberg manages to lose a lawsuit before the trial starts, Kid Rock proves he's not charging $5000 for front row tickets by confessing he IS charging $5000 for front row tickets, and Stephen Miller's wife has another one of those Freudian slips that may be desperate pleas for help from inside a bad situation. C-Block (50:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Baseball has already started so time for my annual explanation: why I don't work for baseball's TV network even though they offered me my own show and I accepted it. It has to do with a big league club threatening them if they didn't renege. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 61: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN BULLETIN: On his 66th birthday, British police arrest the former Prince Andrew (now Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor) on suspicion of supplying confidential government financial information to Jeffrey Epstein. They have 96 hours to decide whether to formally charge him for that or anything else. And we prosecute no one - least of all our parallel, Trump. HOURS EARLIER a South Korean court did not sentence insurrectionist former President Yoon Suk Yeol to death, as prosecutors had demanded. He tried to impose martial law on his nation in 2024 in a plot to use spurious charges of election fraud to justify ending democracy there. He gets life in prison. And we prosecute no one - least of all our parallel, Trump. AND JUST TO ROUND IT OUT: Overnight, President Zelensky of Ukraine snapped - to some degree, throwing an S-bomb at the Russians after the latest round of Trump-led stalling-tactic phony "peace talks" broke out with no result (or more correctly the result Putin wanted Trump to achieve: delay it all further). And we did nothing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 60: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Arizona Senate Republicans just introduced a measure to make ICE MANDATORY at polling places this November. Mandatory. At voting booths. This November. No - It won’t pass. This time. But this does dispel any MAGA crap that this isn't the goal, that rounding up immigrants isn't just practice. Happily, DHS and MAGA are too busy purging themselves. Maybe just as importantly: Does Trump look drawn and unnaturally thin in the face? Like, lost a lot of girth in the face - the kind of thing where people who don’t know say “you’ve lost a lot of weight, you look great” – except you don’t? Also he has just confused Harmeet Dhillon for Phyllis Diller. Standard stuff. But he made a different gaffe that you just can’t write off because it’s new. It’s not something stupid – it’s something he’s misplaced, mentally. The one Trump blunder that suggests he’s getting WORSE: The Penn Station post. AND HOW THE DEATH OF ROBERT DUVALL mainlines into the death of CBS News and the prophesy of Duvall's most important film: Network. Which you should go watch, today. B-Block (50:00) PART TWO of my list of the nearly two dozen destructive changes we are now suffering from, in television news and media in general, that we were warned by, by Paddy Chayefsky, by Peter Finch, Faye Dunaway, Robert Duvall, and director Sidney Lumet. C-Block (1:10:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: A little out of order, but still really good. Tom Emmer, Minnesota moron. Peter Navarro, economic consultant who doesn't know the Dow Jones number isn't in dollars. And the joy of Candace Owens, so lost she can't pronounce ordinary American English words like "Bureau" and "Grandiose" and as chronicled by one of the best of all Twitter-X follows: @CandaceReading1 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 59: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Just because we're paranoid, that doesn't mean Trump isn't out to get us. Trump has just accidentally revealed crucial details of his conspiracy to steal the midterms. It starts with the cadaver-in-chief, demanding of active troops at Fort Bragg – “you have to vote for us” – that’s in case the Generals or even the Joint Chiefs realize Mark Kelly is right: they HAVE to disobey illegal orders, ESPECIALLY Trump’s illegal orders. If it came to that, Trump would have the raw troops overthrow the generals And then Trump succubus Kristi Noem vowed to make sure Trump only lets the RIGHT people voting, electing the RIGHT leaders. And he’s already had ICE PRACTICE voter suppression – murder of civilians – in Minnesota. How do we stop Trump? Talk about it endlessly. Talk about his attempt to make the troops loyal to HIM and not the constitution. Talk about his attempts to seize ballots. Talk about his attempt to use ICE to intimidate voters. Talk about it, now, now, now. Trump is plotting to steal the midterms. We not only CAN stop him - we have to. MEANWHILE, HOW MUCH MORE CAN THE MEDIA BETRAY US? Jake Tapper - as guilty as anybody in the business of putting his salary ahead of all journalism - tells us to hang in there? An old boss of mine says something stupid. CBS decides to platform Stephen A. Smith, the Jill Stein of 2026. B-Block (55:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: What happened to Congressman Randy Fine demanding the arrest of everybody who enjoyed Bad Bunny's Swear-filled Super Bowl Show? The White House doesn't know how to spell "cue." And enjoying the Olympics? It's all crap - especially what it did to the history of the Olympics and the National Hockey League. C-Block (1:25:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: More media criticism. This disaster didn't start yesterday. By 2004, when an anchor on MSNBC told one of his viewers - live on the air - to "get AIDS and die" - and his boss said he had to be fired for that, his boss's boss (THE PRESIDENT OF NBC) tried to intervene to save his job. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 58: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump has attempted another coup. You may have missed it. Trump and Jeanine Pirro with the acquiescence of the hapless Speaker of the House and Porn Monitor attempted another coup: Attempted to get Senators Mark Kelly and Elise Slotkin and four members of the House INDICTED for obstructing Trump’s dictatorship. Tried to convict, tried to jail, for imaginary crimes of disloyalty to him that Trump bleated are quote “punishable by death” six military veterans because they told other Americans to follow the law. For expressing fealty to the Constitution, for publicly reminding service members that THEIR allegiance is to the constitution and not some rapidly deteriorating psychopathic despot. And ordinary Americans in a Grand Jury stopped Trump’s attempt to overthrow the government of the United States. For. Now. Which means the lesson Trump and Pirro and Johnson and the other deputy despots will take away is: next time don’t bother with Grand Juries, just have ICE blast them in the head. What to do to STOP “next time”- what to do RIGHT NOW in the Senate Continuing Funding Resolution - what to do in state houses before the midterms. PLUS: Trump's either-or: either he Narc'd on Epstein or knew nothing about his crimes. Either way, Trump is now the CEO of the Epstein Cover-up. And maybe even more disturbing, he is actually, seriously, hallucinating. Full-on crazy talk. Not his normal delusions: this is A Chinese plot to destroy the National Hockey League. He thinks this is really happening. B-Block (37:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: He won Olympic Bronze but was disqualified in the game of life. The three weird sisters are still whining about Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl: Megyn Kelly, Sage Steele, Michele Tafoya - the latter of two using language that matches almost word-for-word what was said by racists and sexists who called the ESPN complaint voicemail line to try to get THEM fired. And then there's the Twitter Rando whose 'egg corn' is as delightful as any I can remember. He's complaining about solitaire confinement! C-Block (50:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: In the old days baseball spring training wasn't already unofficial underway as of... last week. It was limited and exciting and one of my joys was going to it and reporting from it. So it's time to try to recreate some of that, because naturally I still have the tape of my 1978 Spring Training reports from Florida! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 57: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: When they insist Trump's Thursday night racist video depicting the Obamas as apes wasn’t posted by Trump but by somebody else in the White House – and then he undermines the lie they spread on his behalf by saying he selected the video and had them post it but he just didn’t see the whole thing but so what it wasn’t a mistake they just deleted it – I think each part of that is a lie. It was a set-up. I conclude that this is not just blatant, human garbage racism, inherited Trump Family Branded racism, but I conclude the entire thing was designed – to whatever degree anything Trump and these scumbags do is DESIGNED – it was DESIGNED to turn out this way. Event happens, justifiable backlash, unrighteous indignation from press secretary Eva Braun, oops it wasn’t supposed to be posted, oops bad staffer, oops Trump comes out at the end of the day and… endorses the original racism anyway, quote, “I didn’t make a mistake.” And he did it this circuitous way, the way he expresses ALL his racism against BLACK people, because he can’t send ICE after them. But the point of the video was he was reminding his putrid, hate-driven base that he can't send ICE after them...FOR THE MOMENT. B-Block (33:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: There are actually people in politics and media who for some reason don't see that Jeff Bezos hired Will Allen to slowly destroy The Washington Post (to please Trump) and think this was all some sort of mismanagement, rather than a well-executed plan. Unfortunately at least two of them wrote it on their sites: Jim Vandehei and Dylan Byers. Sage Steele is back with not only anti-athlete, anti-freedom of speech conservative swill, but stuff that is almost a word-for-word duplication of what Laura Ingraham wrote 20 years ago. And incredibly, in Year 11 of the Trump Scam, there's still a guy on CNN thinks Trump just changed his tone. C-Block (45:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Not to say I've had a lot of jobs but I just remembered one that I had FORGOTTEN: my two weeks as the entire sports department on a New York City newspaper that went daily, while the big papers were out on strike in 1978! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 56: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: In destroying The Washington Post yesterday, Trump-fluffer Jeff Bezos has gone far enough. Democratic leaders must commit to using anti-trust laws to destroy Amazon, Prime, Blue Origin - and Bezos, financially. Every would-be president, senator, representative must vow to break the oligarchs - Bezos, Musk, Trump, and all the rest. Bezos first hollowed out the Post to make it servile to Trump and his gang. Now he's destroyed its foreign and sports desks, and its viability as a counterweight to the anti-democracy forces abroad in the land. All so he could spend $75,000,000 or more on a vanity project designed to tell Trump a life: that his wife is an attractive "movie star." We are not going back to the America of 1885. We must bankrupt Jeff Bezos. (And I apologize for the slipshod nature of this episode. I'm under the weather, throat bad, was planning to postpone this episode but this could not wait. Please forgive for the extemporaneous nature of the commentary; the rest of the show is interesting but not new) B-Block (30:00) OLYMPICS TIME: As the 2026 games begin in Italy let me take you back to the most famous winter games yet: the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics, which I covered as a 21-year old rookie with United Press International (while my bosses tried to teach me how to work and drink at the same time). C-Block (42:00) MORE WITH JAMES THURBER: Continuing the broadcasting theme, his first person story of the timelessness of on-air nerves and the labyrinth that is radio, TV, streaming or any other medium in any century: "How To Relax While Broadcasting." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 55: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: So would you like to collapse the Trump Regime? Today? Peacefully? Legally? You - the White House press corps. It only takes one of you. You go into the next Oval Office Scrum, and you ask him politely for his explanation of something released by his administration, by Pam Bondi’s office, on the government website, and you read – quoting this FBI 302 interview file: “Maxwell presented (her) to Trump…by the things Maxwell said, it was clear that (she) was available…”And don’t stop reading and don’t make eye contact. THEN from the sworn affidavit, reed, quote: “I personally witnessed Defendant Trump telling the plaintiff that she couldn’t ever say anything, if she didn’t want to disappear like the 12-year old female (redacted) and that he was capable of having her whole family killed…” Quote: “the physical and sexual abuse that I personally witnessed of minor females at the hands of Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein... under penalty of perjury even though I fully understand that the life of myself and my family is now in grave danger” unquote, what SIR is your explanation SIR about when you threatened this girl’s life, sir. Just keep asking. Don't make eye contact, don't stop, don't stop talking when he starts talking. Just reel off those quotes. And the one about becoming fertilizer. And the "Calendar Girls" story (as nonsensical as that probably is). And all the others. Because we don't always see the escape hatch when it appears before us, and it just appeared. Because the Epstein Files are part of an official Department of Justice Document Dump. Their contents are Pam Bondi's problem, not you or your lawyer's. And if you don't bear down and do this job as it was designed by the Founding Fathers, you will sooner or later face one of these outcomes: you'll be arrested, you'll be replaced by some automaton Bari Weiss likes, or the country will survive and the next people running media will never consider you for work because you were cowardly when we needed your courage. Oh and you can peacefully, legally end the careers of Elon Musk and Marco Rubio and Bari Weiss and lots of others. The material is all in front of you. Just have the courage to pick it up and fling it, like he'd fling his poo at you. ALSO: Don Lemon was arrested not because Jesus but because Trump has always hated him. And if you've forgotten, I explained two weeks ago why Trump was trying to restart the 2020 crap, now sending Tulsi Gabbard to Georgia. They're sitting up not a claim that the election was fixed, but that the election was fixed by another country (hey, Nicolas Maduro, you mind taking the rap, in exchange for a pardon?) and there is no statute of limitations on THAT. B-Block (34:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Harriet Hageman, the blob they elected to the House from Wyoming to replace Liz Cheney, is now running for Senate. Emphasize "running": she has fled a town hill. The Bill Maher Pretzel Logic: Celebrities should shut up, voters don't listen to TV and movie stars. But Bill, you expect them to listen to you. So you're saying you're not a star? And the latest Bari Weiss firing target is supposedly Face The Nation host Margaret Brennan and one of the names being thrown around (probably nonsensically) is Matt Lauer. C-Block (54:00) MONDAYS WITH THURBER: We need a doubleheader. I heard an audio book with a famous actor doing Thurber's tribute to what would be called Dunning-Kruger Syndrome: "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" and it was one of those rare times when I actually said "No - I did this better." So I bring it to you, and as a bonus, a second great unheralded Thurber story: "Meet Birdey Doggett." Enjoy them at your leisure. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.