Good Grief

Marty Ross-Dolen grew up in the shadow of her mother's grief. Her mother's parents had died in a plane crash when she was 14, just 5 years before Marty was born. She knew that her mother was different from her friend's mothers. Knowing this led to Marty trying to protect her mother, never really asking to know the whole story. The ways in which she could still know them were also blocked off. But as an adult, Marty investigated their lives to form a strong relationship with them. As the heads of Highlight Magazine, they were very visible and public. There were also letters and newspaper clippings. Over time, Marty came to know them, even in their absence. And that is how she came to love them and repair the break in her family legacy. Marty Ross-Dolen is a graduate of Wellesley College and Albert Einstein College of Medicine and is a retired child and adolescent psychiatrist. She holds an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Prior to her time at VCFA, she participated in graduate-level workshops at The Ohio State University. Her essays have appeared in North Dakota Quarterly, Redivider, Lilith, Willow Review, and the Brevity Blog, among others. Her essay entitled “Diphtheria” was named a notable essay in The Best American Essays series. She teaches writing and lives in Columbus, Ohio.

When Dr. Paul Kalanithi faced a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis in his last year as a neurosurgical resident, his wife, Dr. Lucy Kalanithi faced it with him. In the twenty-two months that followed, they continued to work, had a child and he wrote a best selling book . But since his death, how have her grief and her love showed themselves? She made sure that his book, when Breath Becomes Air, was published and promoted, most importantly by her. She carried his love forward into her own life and parenting of their daughter Cady. And she lent her energy to projects that reflect the intersection between that most impactful walk through cancer with Paul, and her interest in meaning in medicine, patient-centered care and end-of-life care. So it is no surprise that she is on the advisory board of the OpenIDEO end of life challenge, exploring how to improve end of life experiences world wide. Hear how this newest passion connects with what she and Paul experienced during his illness and death. Dr. Lucy Kalanithi is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at the Stanford School of Medicine and the widow of the late Dr. Paul Kalanithi, author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir, When Breath Becomes Air, for which she wrote the epilogue. She completed her medical degree at Yale, residency at the University of California-San Francisco, and a postdoctoral felllowship in healthcare delivery innovation at Stanford's Clinical Excellence Research Center. Her late husband Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at age 36 while a chief neurosurgical resident at Stanford. In the 22 months between Paul's cancer diagnosis and his death last year, Lucy and Paul continued to work as physicians and decided to have a baby daughter, and Paul wrote When Breath Becomes Air, which was published posthumously in January 2016 and immediately went to #1 on the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list. At the cross-section of her medical career and her personal experience standing alongside her husband during his illness, she has special interests in healthcare value, meaning in medicine, patient-centered care and end-of-life care. She has been interviewed by PBS NewsHour, Charlie Rose, NPR's Morning Edition, yahoo news with Katie Couric, and the New York Times. She lives in the Bay Area with her daughter, Cady.

When Leslie Streeter's husband, the love of her life, died suddenly after asking for kisses, she struggled to fulfill the life they had built together. Would she be able to complete the adoption of their son, not even 3 years old? How would she raise him alone? And how would she navigate this crushing grief? She would rely on community, family and humor to clear a path, taking one step at a time and guided by what her husband, Scott, had envisioned for them. Slowly, and surely, her way forward would become clear. But the pain of losing Scott, for herself and for their son, would have to be felt! Leslie Gray Streeter is an author, veteran journalist and speaker. whose memoir “Black Widow:” was published in March 2020 by Little, Brown and Company. Until recently, she was the longtime entertainment and lifestyle columnist and writer for the Palm Beach Post. A native of Baltimore, Md and a University of Maryland graduate, she and her work have been featured in The Washington Post, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Atlantic, the Today show, SiriusXM, O, The Oprah Magazine and more. She lives with her son Brooks and her mother Tina in her hometown of Baltimore, which she moved back to last summer. She’s a slow runner, an amateur vegan cook and a true crime and “Law and Order” enthusiast. She's a not-bad guitar player but she sometimes sings loud over the bad notes.

Raised with a keen awareness that everything is impermanent, that all life ends, Sunita Puri was challenged to find a way to come to terms with medicine's inability to accept these truths. Her perspective was at odds with the training she was receiving as a medical student, where any death, even an inevitable one, was a failure. When she was finally exposed to a palliative care rotation she found her home in medicine. Palliative care, which supports patients to live well for as long as possible, brought these two parts of her together. How do her early family teachings in a Hindu family inform her work now? And how does her medical training support her palliative care work and the training she offers to others?

Aditi Sethi was a doctor who agreed to act as a death doula for Ethan SIsser, who wanted to die in joy and share it with the world. The extraordianry film The Last ecstatic Days, tells the tale not only of Ethan but of the loving and open community that coalesced around him, fulfilling his deepest wish. Aditi was changed by the commuity that showed up and continues to work towards a world in which death can be seen as a beautiful part of living. Join us as she shares her story. Founder of the Center for Conscious Living & Dying and featured in the documentary “The Last Ecstatic Days,” Dr. Aditi Sethi is a hospice and palliative care physician, end-of-life doula and musician. Aditi is an emerging and important voice for shifting our culture’s understanding and approach to dying, death, and bereavement care, and was a featured speaker for TEDxAsheville in March 2024.

When Molly Peacock's husband died, poetry supported her grief. Already a published poet with several books, she captured her experience of grief, navigating the twists and turns through creative expression. Some grievers rely on the skills they already have and some must learn new ways of being. But even for those of us who continue to do what we did before, the way we do those things is often profoundly changed. What changed in Molly Peacock when she faced deep loss? Join us to talk about her poetry, grief, and how we go forward without the one we love the most.

After a lifetime of deep loss, her parents at twelve, and many others after that, Casey Mulligan Walsh longed for a family. She married young and had three children but ultimately lost the marriage. Still, the epiphany she had after her sons death at 21 pushed her to capture her own story and write it all down. The resulting memoir, The Full Catastropher, speaks eloquently about grief, resilience, and going forward after loss. Casey Mulligan Walsh has written for The New York TImes, HuffPost, Next Avenue, Modern Loss, and numerous literary magazines. Her essay, "Still" published in Split Lip, was nominated for the Best of the Net. Casey lives in upsate New York with her husband, Kevin and can be reached at www.caseymulliganwalsh.com.

Women of color are reliably at the forefront of every progressive movement, both in sheer numbers and in activism. Yet there are many factors that limit their leadership and put an undue burden on them, resulting in a loss to the movements themselves. Former Groundswell Fund founder and executive Vanessa Priya Daniel knows first hand the toll these underlysing factors take. She also interiewed some of the most groundbreaking leaders and has written a profound book about what holds back our most capable leaders, and what we can all do to shift the tide. Vanessa Priya Daniel has worked in social justice movements for 25 years as a labor and community organizer, writer, researcher, and funder. The heart of her work is connecting people and resources to achieve vibrant grassroots power and realize a multiracial, feminist democracy. She is the founder of Groundswell Fund (a 501c3), and Groundswell Action Fund (a 501c4), two leading funders of organizations led by women of color, and transgender people. Under her leadership, Groundswell moved over $100M to the field, centering intersectional grassroots organizing led by women of color and using a breakthrough philanthropic model that featured supermajorities of women of color movement leaders and former grassroots organizers on its staff and boards of directors. During her tenure, more than 40 foundations and over 2,000 individual donors relied on Groundswell to help them move resources to 200+ organizations at the grassroots. Groundswell received the National Committee of Responsible Philanthropy’s “Impact Award” for smashing issue silos. Vanessa was featured in the Chronicle of Philanthropy as one of 15 “Influencers” who are changing the non-profit world and named by Inside Philanthropy as one of their “Top 100 Most Powerful Players in Philanthropy”. She is the recipient of the 2022 Smith Medal from her alma mater Smith College, the 2017 National Network of Abortion Funds’ Abortion Action Vanguard Award, and the 2012 Gerbode Foundation Fellowship. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times and the San Francisco Bay Guardian, among other publications and her first book, Unrig the Game: What Women of Color Can Teach Everyone About Winning. is being published by Random House in 2025. Vanessa has organized homecare workers with SEIU; helped win a landmark living wage law with the East Bay Alliance for a Sustainable Economy; and conducted research to support the organizing efforts of welfare mothers with the Applied Research Center (now Race Forward). Currently, through her firm, Vanessa Daniel Consulting, LLC, she offers strategic advising and coaching support to donors, foundations, grassroots organizations and organizational leaders. She serves on the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Task Force and Common Counsel Foundation, and on the Advisory Board/Brain Trust of the Kataly Foundation’s Environmental Justice Resource Collective, and the Democracy Frontline Fund. She is currently a fellow with the Decolonizing Wealth Project. Vanessa and her co-parent Tricia, are mothers to two daughters, ages five and thirteen.

When a child grows up with a single mentally ill mother, chaos seems normal. How did Sarah LaBrie find her way to a life not defined by fear and confusion? In part, it was through writing, whether or not she knew she was trying to heal on the page. And in part it was through love. Her memoir, No One Gets to Fall Apart, follows her as she finds her way, with inevitable gains and losses. In beautiful prose she captures her childhood and her mother's schizophrenia, and all the steps it took to create a life for herself. Guest Sarah LaBrie is the author of No One Gets to Fall Apart, a 2024 New York Times Notable Book and Editors’ Pick and a best memoir of the year according to NPR, Elle and Esquire. Born in the Bay Area and raised in Third Ward in Houston, Texas, she lives in Los Angeles where she works as a TV writer. She was most recently a producer on the HBO and Starz television show, Minx. She also wrote on Blindspotting (Starz), Made for Love (MAX), and Love, Victor (Hulu/Disney). Her work appears in The Guardian, Guernica, Lit Hub, Electric Literature and the Los Angeles Review of Books and her libretti have been performed at Walt Disney Concert Hall and the Apollo Theater. She’s held residencies at Yaddo, UCross and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. She holds an MFA from NYU where she was a Writers in the Schools Fellow.

Our guest this week, Kim Cantin, is a powerful symbol of resilience, having survived the devastating Montecito mudslides of 2018 that claimed 23 lives, including her husband and son, and left her daughter buried alive. Through unimaginable loss, Kim has fought to rebuild her life, driven by a fierce commitment to hope. Her five-time award-winning memoir, Where Yellow Flowers Bloom: A True Story of Hope through Unimaginable Loss, chronicles her incredible journey of healing, miraculous moments, and the unbreakable power of love. In a world increasingly marked by natural disasters, Kim’s story shines as a beacon of hope, inspiring those grappling with their own hardships. She has shared her message of strength on Ellen, in Rob Lowe’s documentary Madness in the Hills, and in Reebok founder Joe Foster’s book, How to Survive and Thrive. With a voice that resonates, she has captivated large audiences and podcast listeners alike, offering support to those in their darkest hours. Before this, she thrived as an executive in the medical device industry. Now, Kim lives in Southern California with her daughter and their two beloved dogs, embodying the spirit of perseverance and love. For more information please visit: kimcantin.com Contact Kim for Speaking Engagements at kim@kimcantin.com

Guest bio: Larry Carlat is a grief coach and group leader for bereaved parents at Our House Grief Support Center in Los Angeles. He has written for The New York Times Magazine, Esquire, GQ, Rolling Stone, Men’s Journal, Men’s Health, Psychology Today andAARP. His new book, A Space in the Heart: A Survival Guide for Grieving Parents, was published by Rowman & Littlefield.

The Last Love Note tells the fictional story of a young widow trying to find a way to move forward. Its heroine, Kate, has continued to parent, work, and keep her sense of humor but has had very little time to give her grief the space it needs. How many others in these modern times are in the same situation? The author, Emma Grey, knows first hand what happens when loss drops into your life and nothing else stops. Join us as we explore what led her to write the book and how the writing helped her with her own mourning.

Bridey Thelen-Heidel had a chaotic and traumatic childhood with a mother who brought dangerous men into the house and failed to protect the little girl called Bright Eyes. But Bridey was determined to face her traumas and find her way to a beautiful life. In her memoir she describes the road she took to find her way out of the chaos her mother had created. In the process, we can be inspired to imagine that each of us has that potential. Join us for our conversation about what it takes to heal.

Darnell Lamont Walker makes it his life's mission to seed joy everywhere he is. How do his callings intersect? He is a children's television writer, a death doula, a filmmaker. In every case he hopes to inform, encourage and uplift his audience. In the end, all he does is about supporting everyone he encounters to heal, to make room for joy and to love ourselves. Join us as we talk about how he sees his mission and all the things he does to further it!

A week before their wedding, Kate Truitt's fiancee died unexpectedly. In deep grief and trauma she saw no way forward and, even as an informed investigator of the way trauma affects us, she could only live the reality. It was a very long time before she could see the potential for growth and flourishing. In telling her story she invites us along on her path of discovery; her road back to herself. We also share her evolution into the person we see now; someone who supports others going through the same thing she did.

In a three part series for the non-profit When You Die, Johanna Lunn has explored questions of dying and death. She shared her first film on Good Grief, and now we welcome her back to talk about her third, Architecture of Death: The Inner World of Dying. What has she learned in her years immersed in death informed conversations? How does that affect her own life? What allows her subjects to trust her with this most intimate of subjects? What has death taught her? Join us for the conversaiton.

How does a traumatic history affect a family? Even though Brooke Randel's grandmother never talked about living through the Holocaust, it was a part of the fabric of the family tapestry. And then one day, it came out of the shadows when her grandmother asked Brooke to tell her story. The resulting book, Also Here, tells the story and also what made it so challenging to tell. What came out of the shadows? With science catching up to the reality of intergenerational trauma, how does Brooke believe the silent story wove through their lives? And what happened when it came chrystal clear?

Already a grief counselor when both of her parents died within a few years, Meghan Riordan Jarvis was undone by the full weight of her own grief. Her immense sadness resulted in a hospitalization and a long road to find her way. As she has shared twice on previous episodes of Good Grief, ultimately she dove head first into her attempt to understand what had happened to her. And being science inclined she gathered a library of information about the science of grief; how it manifests in the body, what helps, what doesn't. Following up on her memoir, The End of the Hour, her new book, Can Anyone Tell Me, answers the questions that seem so perplexing to grievers and those who love them, Join us to talk about the science of grief and how to navigate it, without trying to make order of it!

Nichole Lee had a successful career as a business consultant, traveling the world and supporting change makers on a global level. When her mother died she continued to work just as hard, despite her grief and the global COVID pandemic isolating her in her home. Then one day she heard a whisper, in her mother's voice, telling her to quit her job! In an act of courage and wisdom, she listened, leading her to a life's calling she had never imagined. Join us to hear how she traveled the road to the life she lives today.