The Luke and Pete Show

It's a fine Thursday to discuss Pete's most inspirational piece of work yet - a lovely graphic of him kissing Noel Edmonds. Luke's not quite sure why he's done it, and being honest, nor is Pete. Still, it's nothing an entire box of Marc de Champagne truffles can't fix. The lads also find time to talk about Jeremy Clarkson, and run the rule over your latest battery submissions. How many new players are going to enter the game this week? Tune in to find out! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like? Meanwhile Pete is contemplating living off-grid as long as he can have a superfast broadband connection, which kind of defeats the point, and we hear from a genuinely inspirational vigilante Dad who, in a bastardisation of Liam Neeson in Taken, just wants his son's mountain bike back. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his interrupting ways. An event that was sure to test Pete's small talk skills to the very limit. For his part, Luke took the events with his usual good grace, by which we mean he became his trademark belligerent self. Also today, there's Rik Mayall, Tim Key, the dangers of buying too much outerwear and, of course, your latest battery submissions. Can we find yet another new player? Poke your head in to the tent and find out. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving boards? Hope not, hope not. Elsewhere on your LAPS ep du jour we talk cherry trees, Pete's dog going on a mad one with some leeks and the sharing of criminal records between nations. There's also the discovery of an adorable new television show involving toddlers doing everyday tasks. Join us! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn’t celebrating – he’s staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the sanctity of the sacred bar area. In protest, he offers up a definitive list of the only pub entertainment he’ll tolerate. Elsewhere, the lads dive into restaurant etiquette. Pete rails against waiters who rush him while Luke boldly declares that small plate restaurants should be made illegal. Plus, there’s a meat glue follow-up from a concerned emailer, and an appearance from Doctor Donny himself, complete with some very questionable takes on urology. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronouncing pain au raisin, leading to a passionate post-Brexit rant about why all baked goods should come with an English translation. Then, in a shocking turn of events, Pete reveals he’s started wearing Y-fronts unironically… a fact Luke finds deeply unsettling. We also hear about Luke’s teenage BMX-building era, question whether amateur cyclists really need all that Lycra, and debate whether tall people are just naturally more trustworthy. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally, today’s big questions are: should we all be allowed to name hire bikes? And should kids ride for free? Elsewhere, Pete nearly doxxes himself in postcode form, Luke gets nostalgic about beaded taxi seat covers, and the lads confront a painful truth…they've become halloumi boys – and Luke’s had enough of being shamed by performative foodies about it. Plus, finally, 3 new batteries! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to destroy your phone if the police stop you with something dodgy on it…just a hypothetical! Elsewhere, Luke’s nearly in hives over Pete’s snack-based mic etiquette, Donny has no idea how Rob Brydon ended up in his contacts, and a listener falls asleep on the toilet during a Ramble Live show. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questionable Pete and Luke we’ve just stumbled across. That aside, Luke discusses his new potential career as a sleep coach (“just get your head down”) and we finally crack the Steven Bartlett conundrum. Plus, peculiar places to watch the O.J. Simpson car chase, batteries aplenty and the grim, grey line between what’s socially acceptable and illegal within the confines of your own car. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the difficult question: is Keanu Reaves actually terrible at acting? Elsewhere we get an update from the Bad Boy of Pétanque, hear of badgers terrorising Pete’s local area and a listener’s going to Glastonbury and hasn’t heard of Neil Young - Luke ain’t happy… Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando’s orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student days. Oh and Pete nearly attempted a park run but got distracted. Plus, some incredible attempts at New Players and we start building our Mount Rushmore of conspiracy theories #doyourownresearch. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the lads kick things off with a classic Jeremy Kyle moment: a man boldly declares he loves cocaine more than his kids. This prompts a discussion on addiction where Luke accuses Pete of being addicted to papier-mâché (he doesn’t deny it) and Pete issues a public warning about glue powders – specifically the deeply cursed meat glue. Elsewhere, a casual confession about a recent outdoor wee sends them into a surprisingly passionate debate about the regional politics of public urination. And yes, Pete’s still convinced he could build Luke’s house extension. Luke hasn’t yet been persuaded. Just another completely normal Monday. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke’s livid at the fact he’s stuck with just one Father’s Day while his wife gets to celebrate Mother’s Day in both the UK and US. Meanwhile, Pete’s only just realised you’re supposed to buy your partner a Mother’s Day gift… and it’s her first one, too. Strong start! Elsewhere, Pete confidently declares Neil Young a B-grade artist, but Luke’s not having any of it. Choosing to rise above Pete’s attempt at antagonising him, he dives into the new Becoming Led Zeppelin doc, while Donny reminisces about working Glasto for the free ticket and reminds us of his golden rule: getting blasted drunk is the only way to enjoy it. Also on the docket: Chris Eubank Sr’s flawless skin. Naturally. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh off a Football Ramble tour, the lads recap a monster journey back from Glasgow, including a five-hour delay, a detour through Edinburgh, and a run-in with a wildly unpredictable couple who produced not one but two cats mid-journey. Pete and Vish witnessed it all, while Luke, blissfully unaware, sat back with noise-cancelling headphones and a Nazi documentary. Elsewhere, the lads get stuck into Glastonbury chat, Luke’s actively praying for a washout, and then take a deep dive into what really makes someone a nepo baby. Does Matty Healy owe it all to his soap-star parents? And if Pete’s daughter ends up in the spotlight, does having two radio DJ parents automatically seal her fate? The lads investigate. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off by unpacking the most scandalous moment of the 2025 Met Gala: Rosa Parks printed on a pair of knickers. Naturally, this leads Luke to ask the big question: are we just getting stupider as a society? Then comes the real shocker…Met Gala tickets cost $75,000. Luke’s astounded, and takes it as the perfect excuse to launch into a full-blown rant about stamp duty and the state of everything. Plus, Pete pulls the ultimate contrarian move by refusing to watch Adolescence, instead pledging to watch every other show with the same name so he can still join in the chat. And a listener's email sparks a surprisingly grim realisation: are astro turf pitches just giant Petri dishes?...Absolutely. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke poses a crucial hypothetical: if music awards only went to artists who’ve never taken a stimulant… who’d actually be left? The lads then dive into the legacy of “straight-head” rockstars and debate whether Winston Marshall’s post-banjo pivot into far-right politics really counts as a glow-up. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Elsewhere, Pete’s parenting takes a turn after he accidentally locks his baby in the car and has to coach her through unlocking it from the inside. And finally, a listener’s clash with a Tesco jobsworth triggers painful Nectar card flashbacks for Luke. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads hop aboard the Steven Bartlett hate train, again, and Pete accuses Luke of being just a little jealous. Elsewhere, Luke shares the tale of a house party gone horribly wrong, involving 30 mates, a wax strip, and one extremely unfortunate soul. Then it’s on to an email special, where Pete proudly declares he’d still jump into a pool even if someone had just done a shit in it…as long as it had been sieved out. His argument? “The water’s touching your arsehole anyway.” Luke isn’t convinced. Plus, the lads get curious about our new resident LAPS HGV driver…Amphetamines? Sex workers? What is the image of the long-distance trucker in 2025? Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke’s on a mission to become the most pasty man in Britain, while Pete’s seriously considering a Juicy Couture tracksuit… naturally. Then, the lads weigh in on the Eubank Jr vs Benn fight, the legacy of their famously fiery dads, and Luke recalls being genuinely terrified of Nigel Benn as a ten-year-old. Also on the docket: is it ever okay to let a builder use your toilet? Pete probably wouldn’t mind, he’s got four, and Luke is absolutely astounded! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After foxes ransack Pete’s nappy bins, Luke suggests a very DIY deterrent: peeing in an Evian bottle to mark his territory… not that he’s speaking from experience. And if he was, he certainly wouldn’t have been caught mid-stream by his wife. Definitely not. Meanwhile, Pete’s overhydration saga hits rock bottom with a full-bladder emergency on the M25, resulting in an SOS wee right outside of a British Airways training centre. Dignity? Absolutely none. Plus, Luke solves a listener’s cat poo problem. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh off the plane back from Vegas, Pete takes aim at the culinary crime scene that is Panda Express and regales us with tales of invisible man matches, and his new survival tool of choice: melatonin. Elsewhere, Luke delivers the brutal news about Chick-fil-A’s problematic past and the lads wonder why anyone cares what other people spend their money on. Plus, Pete narrowly avoids a risky duck blood meal before his 11-hour flight home and Luke’s genuinely impressed with his growth! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.