TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew are in bad shape after a terrible night of Mariners baseball -- and that's just referring to their branding gimmicks. Luke has several mug-related emergencies during the show, while Andrew does everything in his power to tank the podcast with audio misfires. Meanwhile, the tennis shoe company AllBirds is transitioning into a…whatnow?

We have now heard from almost everyone involved in the Chappel Roan security guard controversy, and everyone seems surprisingly reasonable. Plus, Luke is digging the Justin Bieber's music at recent performance at Coachella, and Andrew makes a fool of himself with a local reporter. And a listener brings some FACTS when it comes to "the sound of lightning."

Luke's frustrating saga trying to return a set of dishes has him reconsidering his shopping style. Andrew is excited to bring some "Celebrity Birthday Segment" energy to TBTL. And former NYC Mayor / fraudster Eric Adams is trying to bump Luke lower down the list of famous Albanian-Americans.

The Mariners finally unveiled a statue honoring Ichiro Suzuki on Friday, but the big reveal didn't go exactly as planned… We also get updates on the TBTL Junior Jalapenos and puppy/kitty relations in Andrew's house.

A Seattle judge has lost his judging privileges after forging a fake document to get a parking discount, and Luke and Andrew have a Freaky Friday-esque reaction to it. Plus, Andrew has an update on day two of puppy training.

Andrew brought home a puppy yesterday and has all the details about her first night with him and Genevieve. Plus, CBS has announced its programming lineup that will replace Stephen Colbert, and Luke is not impressed, to say the least.

Luke got to experience one of his favorite Tiktok videos in real life last night after attending a jazz show. Andrew is excited to pick up his new puppy this afternoon! And a listener has questions after observing a jogger's odd behavior.

Andrew got a postcard in the mail yesterday that he was not happy to receive. Luke is in Los Angeles, where he's worried about the billboard economy. And they discuss a fascinating Seattle Times article profiling a long-standing business that has always piqued their interest. (And, it turns out, Luke's dad is a customer!)

Australia officially has officially enshrined the famous "succulent Chinese meal" audio that went viral after decades of being lost. Luke and Andrew also receive a poetic update on the TBTL Junior Slugger's first little league game of the season!

Andrew visited a house full of foster puppies yesterday and has a full report. Plus, Genevieve had her court hearing today regarding a ticket she received while chasing down her lost phone. She joins the show to let us know how it turned out. And the TBTL Junior Sluggers have a new name, a new logo, and a lot of pizazz! We get the latest as they gear up for their first game this weekend.

Luke and Andrew discuss the Seattle airport's misguided and expensive efforts to rebrand. They also watch the video of a Texas judge bullying an IT worker who's just trying to help him out.

Luke finally heard from the court about the erroneous parking ticket he received. He's somewhat satisfied with the results. He and Andrew also discuss the end of the A.I. app called Sora, which could let anyone make convincing deep fakes depicting real people. And, speaking of robots, Luke is ready for them to fully take over at least one aspect of Major League Baseball.

Luke pays homage to John Hinterberger, a Seattle writer he grew up reading and who represents a more adventurous era of newspaper publishing. Meanwhile, Andrew and Genevieve had their first appointment with a dog rescue organization yesterday. While Andrew is ready to take the process slowly, Luke has other ideas for him.

Andrew is back from Hawaii, where he had a wonderful time but a wistful goodbye. Luke gets him up to speed on the latest Chappell Roan controversy. Luke also discusses his experience at the "No Kings" rally this weekend in Portland. And they look back on their epic TBTL boat trip from 11 years ago.

Luke gets into it with the people sitting next to him at Opening Night, but Becca has his back, plus David From the Basement stops by to explain why Stephen Colbert is writing the next Lord of the Rings film.

Luke and Andrew dive into some listener voicemails, including one involving an angry Russian widow and another that leaves Andrew bumfuzzled.

Luke has a big issue with an office place tradition. Andrew turns to his enemy, AI, to see if it has any solutions. They also discuss the now-solved mystery of the British man who turned blue overnight.

Luke had a bad experience with a can of Coke yesterday and now wants a moratorium on new soda flavors. Plus, an anonymous listener provides the definitive "How bad do you have to poop?' scale.

With Andrew out of town, Luke is joined by TBTL Employee Numero Uno, Jon Sklaroff. Jon provides an update on life with a new puppy and the two discuss why the NBA is actually good and Seattle should be excited to see the Sonics come back. And Luke details a foolproof plan to get the goods at Blockbuster.

Luke and Andrew are feeling giddy on the first day of Spring! Luke is breaking out a fresh Sponge Mommy for the occasion, and Andrew is preparing for a real Shandy Summer. They also get the fascinating background of the famous "Did You Ever Have A Dream" viral video.