Death, Sex & Money

Alexandra Paul always loved connecting with fans. She had many, from her breakout role in the 1983 horror film Christine to her years playing a lifeguard on Baywatch. In 2011, Paul's career was slowing down, but it was also the year that she met her biggest fan: a woman who would come to stalk her for over a decade, costing Paul tens of thousands of dollars in legal bills, strain on her family, and forcing her to move across state lines. The ordeal is now over, and she has lessons to share. In this episode you’ll hear Alexandra Paul read from an essay she published in The Ankler, a newsletter about the entertainment industry. Podcast production by Zoe Azulay. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On June 11th, actress Allison Williams joined Anna live onstage at the Tribeca Festival in New York City for a conversation that was equal parts introspective and hilarious. Allison talked about everything from botox and how it impacts her work (and the faces she’s able to make to her young son) to her very complicated and controversial film and TV characters, like the famously maligned Marnie from Girls. Allison and Anna also welcomed two members of Gen Z into the conversation, Amelia Ritthaler and Evan Lazarus of the Girls Rewatch podcast, to discuss why Gen Z is way more sympathetic to Marnie than millennials were. Allison’s new podcast from Headgum is called Landlines. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. This episode was produced by Cameron Drews with help from Slate’s Katie Rayford, Alexandra Cohl, and Shay Cohen, and the wonderful team from Tribeca Audio: Davy Gardner, Allyson Morgan and Baiz Hoen. Death, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2018, we followed eight listeners as they dated over the course of the summer. We heard about having sex for the first time, being ghosted, downloading and deleting dating apps, and grieving one partner while falling in love with someone new. In this episode, you’ll hear the final check-in with our eight daters (you can listen to the first and second episode here). Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At a time when inflation, tariffs, and stock market fluctuations are creating confusion and financial strain, we’ve assembled an unlikely panel of experts to answer your money questions, big and small. Our panel includes: Bethel Habte, a financial coach and author of the Deconstructing Money newsletter; Mark Blythe, economics professor at Brown University and author of Inflation: A Guide for Users and Losers; and Rebecca Auman, DMS’s go-to “practical witch” and host of the podcast Voices in the River. This podcast was produced by Zoe Azulay and Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Long before Celine Song was nominated for an Academy Award for her directorial debut, Past Lives, she was a struggling playwright in New York City with a side hustle: matchmaking. In this episode, Celine talks about how that experience inspired the plot of her new A24 movie, Materialists, starring Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans, and Pedro Pascal. This podcast was produced by Zoe Azulay. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When blogger AJ Daulerio broke the Brett Favre sexting scandal in 2010, it became one of the biggest stories of his career. But it came at a cost: he had betrayed Jenn Sterger, the woman at the center of the story, who had confided in him as a friend and explicitly asked him not to name her. The fallout was immediate and lasting. Jenn became the target of relentless online harassment and scrutiny that has followed her for 15 years. AJ went on to face his own reckoning when his aggressive tabloid journalism eventually led to Gawker's bankruptcy, which upended his career. In this episode, both AJ and Jenn reflect on the toxic incentives of viral journalism, the lasting trauma of unwanted internet fame, and how a stray dog unexpectedly brought them back into contact after nearly a decade of silence. AJ now writes a newsletter and hosts a podcast about recovery called The Small Bow and writes an addiction advice column for Slate called Ask A.J. You can hear more of Jenn on her podcast, Not Today... with Eddie Pence and Jenn Sterger. Podcast production by Andrew Dunn Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

José Andrés is at the helm of more than a dozen restaurants and is famous for the humanitarian work that his organization World Central Kitchen does everywhere from Haiti to Gaza. But when it comes to parenting, José says he’s often felt less than confident. In this episode, he discusses his somewhat rocky upbringing in Spain, his successes and struggles as a chef and restauranteur, and his frustration that parenthood doesn’t come with a set of instructions. This episode was originally produced in 2019 when our team was Katie Bishop, Anabel Bacon, Emily Botein, and Andrew Dunn with help from Stephanie Joyce and Joanna Solotaroff. This week’s update was produced by Anna. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A man delivers an unforgettable pickup line. A woman asks her Uber driver out on a date. A rancher swears off men and then, years later, suddenly develops feelings for the guy down the road. This week, listeners share offline dating stories for the ages, including charming meet-cutes, frustrating missed connections, and happily ever afters. We also hear from Maxine Simone Williams, founder of WeMetIRL, a company that hosts in-person dating events in Brooklyn, NY. To learn more about our Uber driver love story, check out this marriage announcement in the New York Times! Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Isabel Allende didn’t publish her first book until she was 39, after losing nearly everything in the wake of the Chilean military coup. More than four decades later, she’s become one of the most beloved Spanish-language authors, with over 80 million copies of her books sold worldwide. After political exile, writing books became Allende’s way of making sense of the world. She wrote through divorce, affairs, and moving across continents. But after the devastating loss of her daughter Paula, even writing felt impossible, until her mother urged her to begin again. “My mother knew that the only way for me to walk the tunnel of grief was writing,” she says. In this episode, Anna and Isabel talk about loss, late starts, and new beginnings. Isabel met her most recent husband, Roger, in her late 70s, “an age when most people are knitting for their great-grandchildren.” Allende’s newest novel, “My Name Is Emilia del Valle,” is out now. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In West Virginia, Republicans hold one of the largest supermajorities in the country, and it’s growing. Just 11 Democrats — down from 14 last year — are in the 134-member Legislature. It's a political reality that isn't necessarily conducive to advancing LGBTQ rights. But that's Andrew Schneider's job. As head of Fairness West Virginia, Andrew has spent a decade as the only full-time lobbyist at the state capitol working on LGBTQ issues. His approach? Winning people over through listening rather than confrontation, a strategy he developed in college when he purposely chose a conservative campus to practice changing minds. "I quickly realized that if I sat back and let someone talk to me and did not jump in and judge, they would trust me and we could actually have a meaningful conversation where ultimately I could inject my views," Andrew said. In this episode we talk to Andrew, and political leaders in West Virginia whom he’s lobbied, about his relational approach to getting through issues that matter to him, and how that strategy is being tested in Donald Trump’s second term. This episode is part of a series we’re calling Living At Odds, you can hear the rest of the series in the Slate podcast How To! Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To fly a plane, pilots must prove to the Federal Aviation Administration that they’re physically and mentally fit. But when it comes to mental health, the rules are complicated and, some say, outdated. Pilots who need antidepressants are limited to a short list of approved medications and must take a mandatory six-month leave. Even common diagnoses like anxiety or depression can trigger reviews that could ground them. The F.A.A.’s rules are born out of desire to keep the public safe, but in this episode we talk to pilots, aspiring pilots, and medical aviation professionals about their unintended consequence: incentivizing people to stay quiet about their mental health issues. Read: Why Airline Pilots Feel Pushed to Hide Their Mental Illness Podcast production by Zoe Azulay. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem Rahma, host of the viral web series Subway Takes, says he’s been working since he was 14 and hasn’t really taken a break. In high school, he worked service jobs. In college, he bought and re-sold motorcycles, jeans, and whatever else he thought he could flip. This week on the show, Kareem explains why he’s had so many jobs, including posts at Vice and the New York Times, and he discusses the financial maneuvering that allowed him to pivot to comedy in his 30s. You can check out his podcast, Subway Takes Uncut, here. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At a time when skepticism about conventional medicine has become even more mainstream, we’re revisiting a story about the causes and effects of that mistrust. Archie Matlow’s mother refused to get a surgery that could have saved her life, which led to her and Archie trying to love each other while bitterly at odds. You can listen to the full audio piece Archie made here, and you can order their memoir, Dead Mom Walking, here. Also make sure to check out Archie’s New York Times piece, titled Why My Father Called Me Son, Daughter, He, She and It. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alongside life's darkest moments there often are moments of absurdity that make us laugh. In this episode, from a live San Francisco comedy festival in January, Anna and guests talk about the special kind of comedy born of something sad. Comedians Guy Branum and Carl Tart share stories of writing a sitcom about Zoom-era social relationships. Chanel Miller, author of Know My Name, talks about coping with the trauma of being a victim of a high profile sexual assault case… by doing standup. And Faith Albright, a veterinarian specializing in at-home euthanasia, explores the delicate art of finding humor while supporting grieving families through difficult goodbyes. Plus an AI chatbot and musician Matt Nathanson duke it out over who can more creatively sum up each segment. Chanel Miller’s books are the memoir Know My Name and Magnolia Wu Unfolds It All, which was recognized by the Newbury Awards this year. Faith Albright’s work at onelivingsanctuary.org. Matt Nathanson’s new album is called King of Unsimple and he’s on tour…find dates at mattnathanson.com Guy Branum has upcoming standup shows in LA, Chicago, Seattle and more…find those dates at guybranum.com Watch Carl Tart’s writing work on SNL… keep track of all his podcasts and improv shows on his instagram. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Joe Gow was fired from his position as chancellor and professor at the University of Wisconsin at La Crosse, his superiors said it was due to “abhorrent” behavior. Joe had made porn videos with his wife Carmen and uploaded them onto the internet under the name “Sexy Happy Couple.” This week, Joe and Carmen tell their side of the story and explain how making porn spiced up their marriage. They also defend themselves against the argument that what they did was inappropriate. Slate writer Dan Kois’ previous interviews with Joe Gow: The Porn Chancellor Speaks What’s Next for the “Porn Chancellor” You can check out our previous series about erectile dysfunction, called Hard, here. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2020, we made an episode about a listener who cheated on his wife with sex workers and was going through a divorce. He told us the idea to go on the website Seeking Arrangement came from an episode we made about sugar babies. A few weeks ago we called “Ethan” back to see what’s changed in his life since our first conversation, and how he navigates discussions about his past infidelity with his new wife. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anna talks to writer Ada Calhoun, author most recently of the novel Crush, about a married woman succumbing to extramarital temptation (she wrote it while she herself was separating from her husband) and then to comedian Rosebud Baker about her new Netflix comedy special, The Mother Lode, which is all about late-stage pregnancy and early motherhood. This episode was recorded live at On Air Fest in New York City on February 20th. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Since the inauguration in January, we’ve been getting emails and voice recordings from people whose lives have been thrust into uncertainty due to changes made by the Trump administration. Many federal workers and people who rely on federal money have lost their jobs. Others feel vulnerable and uncertain. This week, we’ll hear from a range of people who’ve been affected, from an IRS attorney who’s been a target of Elon Musk’s DOGE efforts to an army sergeant who could very likely be forced out of her post because she’s trans. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When comedian Chelsea Devantez began writing her memoir, she knew exactly where to start: with a teenage relationship that spiraled into domestic violence. But when she submitted her draft, lawyers informed her she legally couldn't name her abuser or detail what happened. "I threw the book in the trash for a few months," Chelsea recalls. After consulting friends and family, she decided to continue writing with a new approach. "Instead of telling my story, I would try to tell the story of how our systems are set up to silence." In this episode, Chelsea and Anna also discuss how a complex PTSD diagnosis helped explain puzzling personality traits, friendship breakups, family secrets, and navigating a male-dominated, rich kid comedy scene. Chelsea Devantez’s memoir is called I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: (But I'm Going to Anyway), and she has a podcast called Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast. Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Andrew Dunn. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Six and a half years ago, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, we asked our listeners how they think about manhood–how to be, what’s hard, where they feel lost. Fast forward to 2025, and the norms and trends around manhood are even more varied and complicated. So we thought it would be a good time to revisit the stories from 2018 and provide updates on some of the men we heard from. If you are a man, or are raising a man, or love a man, and want to share more about what you’re noticing about mixed signals about manhood and masculinity today and where you get stuck, record a voice memo and send it to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices